There are terrible drugs out there, horrendous, monstrous drugs. If they get their hands on you they may make you start to act in bizarre and uncontrollable ways! Coming off of these drug will make you feel like hell, a torturous come down that is likely to make you near insane. These drugs are the most powerful drugs on the planet. It is possible in fact, that these drugs are responsible for the progression of the entire species. What drugs am I speaking of? Oxytocin and Dopamine!
“The way chemicals are released in the brain during intercourse is very different in men and women,” Washington Post reporter Laura Sessions Stepp, the author of “Unhooked: How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Love and Lose at Both.”
“In women, oxytocin is released. It’s a chemical that makes women want to nurture their young and stay close. Men get a huge jolt of testosterone, which suppresses oxytocin, and that’s nature’s way of saying, ‘Leave the nest and go sire offspring somewhere else.’ So when women think they can have sex and walk away just like guys do, they’re having to suppress thousands of years of evolution that tells them to cuddle.”
I started seeing someone recently, and I became neurotic, yes literally, I turned into a mad woman. Within months of meeting him I was fantasizing about babies, meeting his parents, and the house we would live in together.
I knew something wasn’t right, these feelings could not be possibly true- but still I would sit and merely thinking of him would make me swell, smile, and begin to fantasize. And to make matters worse- I was telling my friends, “I think I am in love with him.”
Thank God half of my friends are therapists! One dear friend said to me, with a smirk, (after I had finished gushing about my “new love”), “That my dear, is not love.” I was so irritated! Who was she to tell me I was not in love!
After a 2-week trip to China, I returned like a mad woman hungry for my fix. We had a great night of passionate love making upon my return, but after a few days of no texts from him I was feeling wild and ungrounded yet again. I wasn’t getting my fix, my drug, my dopamine high.
“Dopamine is the “feel-good” hormone with amazing effects: high attention, improved short-term memory, elation, boldness and a temporary desire to explore the world and take risks. The dopamine released during orgasm is equal “in effect” to one shot of heroin, as some scientists claim. No wonder it’s the hormone that causes addiction: when the body releases a high dosage of dopamine, it will take hours, days or weeks, before it gets back to its sober state” (http://raymondinegypt.tripod.com/).
So what did I do? I went on Tinder of course because that’s what every neurotic dopamine addict does. And instantly there were loads of visual candy, men and women alike asking me out, but was I satisfied? No!
All I can say ladies, is SLOW DOWN. Be careful! Historically, I have rarely been one to promote abstinence or waiting for long periods of time before having sex- but these hormones are no freaking joke!!! They will devour you, make you insane, and could possibly change the course of your incredibly precious life FOREVER.
What did I do? I was honest, I told him I was possessed by a neurotic lady drug, and that I needed to slow down. And in slowing down, I found, (THANK GOD) an ounce of clarity. I remembered who I am and what I stand for. I remembered my beauty, my power, and my ability to have and create exactly what I want in this quickly passing life.
I remembered all the work I have to do on this planet, the lives I have yet to touch, and the dreams I have yet to satisfy. I remembered how wild I am, and how much I enjoy my freedom! And if, while moving slowly, I decide he is Mr. Right- well awesome. But I want to do that in my own time- not because I am under the mercy of Oxytocin’s fierce grip!
May you take care of your precious lives dear sisters and your tender hearts!
With Love,
Madame Merci is the Madame and founder of Conscious Burlesque. Madame Merci works with people to discover, explore, and ignite their sensual flame. Learn More about The Madame